Not Just Your Garden-Variety Neurotic Smartass.

Seizing It Up.

Sorry I haven’t written in a minute. Life has been nuts.

I have been having multiple seizures a day for a couple weeks culminating in me falling off a dining room chair and wrecking my lower back. This is as painful as it sounds, if not more so; and adding my torn rotator cuff on top of that is making life very difficult indeed.

I had an MRI of my shoulder to see whether I need a replacement and will get the results next week. I’m also starting physical therapy including dry needling next week, and I also have a neurologist appointment on Monday. I’m hoping with all my heart that these issues can be fixed.

I’m very tired and a physical mess, but I am doing everything I can do.

Be well.

The Tense House.

I came home from my dad’s on Monday and posted a laminated list of house rules. Nothing outrageous, just that my daughter get a job by the end of May, help out with the housework, and show me some respect. I specified that if these things did not happen, I would turn off the internet.

There have been arguments at least once a day, and it’s very draining. My father temporarily gave her a gaming laptop and a big monitor to use for live-streaming video games, because one can make money doing this, and she’s entertaining to watch.

He told her that he wanted to watch her livestream because, being a very smart and technically inclined guy, he might have some technical advice. She flatly refused. He got angry and told her that if she didn’t, he would take the computer back. It’s a system worth thousands of dollars, and he’d only planned to loan it to her and see if she got a sizable amount of subscribers.

They were yelling at each other outside in the rain, and she came in the house screaming, “Don’t threaten me!!”

She told me what happened, and I told her I didn’t see the problem with him watching her livestream. She told me it was “creepy” and that she didn’t want him to know her online handle.

She also insinuated that it was my fault he was taking the computer because I didn’t call my dad and yell at him about this. When my father is angry, there is no going back. I know this. He is furious with my daughter for blowing up on him, and he blew up on her as well.

So today the computer is going back, and last night she and her friend put it on the (locked) front porch.

I woke up at 4:30 this morning and as is my habit, I went out to the porch to have a cigarette. The computer wasn’t there. The front porch storm door was still bolted. The brand new webcam he bought for her was missing as well, and that was inside on the dining room table.

I’m reasonably certain that she took everything downstairs to her room, and this is only going to cause even more drama. At this point she says she hates him, and he wants nothing to do with her. If that computer is hooked up downstairs as she sleeps until noon, there will be another big fight.

I am so tired of all this fighting, of the general distaste and sometimes venom that is directed towards me, of her constant anger. It is exhausting.

Allegedly she wants to move to Indianapolis with a friend, and neither of them have jobs or money. She claims she just can’t live with me anymore (because I am so intolerable, paying all her bills and doing all the housework while she games away), and I’m inclined to agree. If she wants to move out, I’m all for it. It would be sad and I would miss her in some ways, but in many ways I would not – the volatile temper, the constant ingratitude for everything and everyone, the entitlement.

So, I don’t know what will happen today, but I am prepared for a battle. Wish me luck.