Not Just Your Garden-Variety Neurotic Smartass.

Parts Is Parts.

Well, hi! How are you? How are enjoying life in this Trump-led, racist, homophobic, transphobic, pandemic-panicked, insane society? Great? Of course!

Yep. Me too.

I had a total shoulder replacement three weeks ago, and let me tell you, it is the worst surgery I have ever had by leaps and bounds. I have three new parts – a ball, a socket, and an inch-thick bar that is about eight inches long that the ortho literally shoved down the center of the bone in my upper arm. What is that bone called – the humerus? I used to know all the bones before I started banging my head on things. Anyway, it hurts like holy shit.

The ortho cut off my pain meds a week ago without so much as a kiss on the cheek, and life has not exactly been a bowl of cherries since. The pain is so intense that I’ve been puking almost every day, and I am very stiff and swollen. This sling can absolutely die in a fire.

But hey, at least I have a cool scar, right? Right.

Other than that, I have been doing my best to relax, even though I am typically not a relaxed person. Jasmine is taking up my slack by cleaning litter boxes and doing dishes and taking out the trash and cleaning up the house. I don’t miss cleaning, but I do feel kind of useless.

I have got to start writing daily. That’s one thing I can do that doesn’t hurt, and there is no excuse for me not to do it.

Good things: coffee with extra hazelnut creamer, Loki the cat, who fetches without fail and is generally hilarious, cool mornings, and Jasmine having a job.

Things I need: money (always), weed (helps with the pain), contact lenses, patience (to let this crap heal), and sleep.

Things I would love love love to see happen: Trump to lose this election by a landslide, people to rally around the USPS, racism and homophobia and transphobia to be denounced completely, and 65 degree weather all year round. A girl can dream.

I’ll be back tomorrow. Pinky swear. Have a (insert superlative here) day.

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